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I’m a LAPAO speaker now

Posted by in Culture, Politics, Rants | May 11, 2013

In case you hadn’t heard about this already, pay attention to the last piece of nonsense courtesy of the authoritarian party controlling the Spanish government, the Partido Popular (Popular Party, also know as PP.)

As you may know, in Spain we speak several different languages. The official one is Spanish, spoken in the whole territory, but in some areas Spanish coexists with one or more local languages: Galician, Basque, Catalan, Valencian, Aragonese… However, the fascists in control of the government don’t like this a bit. They want a pure castillian race speaking only Spanish, and they’re proceeding in the same way as Hitler when he tried to destroy everything that wasn’t his aryan race (there, it took me just ten seconds to do a Godwin.)

So what great idea did the retards from PP have this time? They decided to rename Catalan and Aragonese! My guess is that they are trying to erase every mention of these languages from official government documents, hoping that we will forget our mother languages. So far this law has only passed in the administrative region of Aragón, just west from Catalonia, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did the same in other regions.

Who do we have to thank for this great, great idea? Her name is Luisita Fernanda Rudi, who is currently the president of the Aragón county council, and also president of the NazPopular Party of Aragon. As an unrelated note, her daddy was a member of the military on the side that helped Hitler’s buddy Francisco Franco take power. I’m suuuure this is of no relevance.

Retrato_Luisa_Fernanda_Rudi_realizado_sor_Isabel_GuerraThe bitch (right) and and owl. Photo courtesy of Los Genoveses.

Keep reading, there’s more.

But I haven’t told you the best yet. I said they’ve renamed Catalan and Aragonese, but I haven’t told you yet what they’ve renamed them to! Do you want to take a guess? Grab a chair, here it comes:

Catalan is now know as LAPAO, acronym for Lengua Aragonesa Propia del Área Oriental (Aragon’s Language Typical from the East Area). TAKE THAT!

But wait, it gets better! Aragonese is now called LAPAPYP! Repeat with me: LA-PA-PYP! That’s supposed to mean Lengua Aragonesa Propia de las Áreas Pirenáica y Prepirenáica (Aragon’s Language Typical from the Pyrenean and pre-Pyrenean Areas). Wow. Just Wow.

I guess it’s time for me to update my resume. I’ll have to change the line that says “I speak Catalan, Spanish, English and Japanese” and write something like “I speak LAPAO, Spanish, English and Japanese”. I’m just hoping they don’t rename English to LGPORA (Lengua Germánica Propia del Reino de Albión, Germanic Language Typical of the Kingdom of Albion) nor Japanese to LNPALO (Lengua Nipónica Propia del Área del Lejano Oriente, Japonic Language Typical of the land of the Far East), or else the list of languages I speak is going to resemble a list of communications protocols.

Original news (in Spanish): EL PAÍS

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